Horn-Witze und Cartoons

How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?

Have them miss every other note.

Why is the French horn a divine instrument?

Because a man blows in it, but only God knows whatcomes out of it.

aus John Webb "Trombamania" mit Bewilligung entnommen.
(c) Editions Bim ISBN 2-88039-025-7-http://www.editions-bim.ch


What is the difference betweena squirrel and a french horn player in the back of a taxi?

The squirrel is probably goingto a gig.

How can you know a horn player is coming to you?

The doorbell has missed the tune!

aus John Webb "Trombamania" mit Bewilligung entnommen.
(c) Editions Bim ISBN 2-88039-025-7-http://www.editions-bim.ch

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchuremake him a great kisser?"

"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tinylittle pucker; it was no fun at all."

The next night she went out with a tuba player, and whenshecame back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"

"Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery,blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!"

The next night she went out with a French horn player,and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"

"Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved the way he held me!"

A Hornplayer is fishing. Suddenly he catches a Fish!
But the fish says to the hornplayer: If you let me go,
I will tell you two important things about your future,
I have good news and I have bad news for you.
'That's a deal', the horn-player says.
Well, the good news is, when you are going to die,
you will play 2nd horn in heaven, next to Buyanovski!
Woooooow!! the hornplayer screams, that's great!
Yeah, the fish says, but the bad news is that you will
have to start tomorrow!
 


 

What is a brass player's favorite movie?

Gone with the Woodwinds.

God made some people hornplayers.
Others were not so fortunate.

What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra?

The bull has the horns in the front and the ass in the back!


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